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An Existential Perspective on Infertility

by Clare Mann

The choice to have a baby for some people doesn�t seem like a choice at all. There is a certain inevitability that only seems dependent on the right set of circumstances. For others, the decision is not so straightforward with ambivalence about one�s ability, timing and possible compromises coming into the equation. But whatever your circumstances, what happens when your choice to have a baby doesn�t result in a pregnancy? How can you make sense of your emotions and the anxiety that results? How can you integrate a changed world view, reminding you that all choices are bounded by individual and existential limitations?

The choice to conceive, like all choices, is the first step on the road to a new reality of which we already have expectations. You may feel that it is only a matter of time before conception occurs and you become a parent. Every month you avidly wait for signs of a pregnancy with the predictable mix of excitement and nervousness. Yet another period signals that this month you have not been successful. Overwhelming disappointment and �better luck next month� propels you from this potential despair to future hope. As time progresses, subtle changes may occur in accepting this reality. You may

• eagerly seek ways to increase your chances


• become desperate and depressed


• shake your fist at the injustice of your situation


• become resentful or depressed at the sight of babies and new mothers


• deny your desires or play tricks with yourself, pretending that you have �given up�

Maybe in �giving up� your body will just relax and �hey presto� the much anticipated pregnancy will be forthcoming � well, this is what everyone tells you.

The reality for many women is a long and lonely journey that challenges one�s very existence as a woman. In not conceiving, she is forced to confront deeper existential anxieties about the uncertainty of life. What are these existential concerns and how might the experience of infertility and potential childlessness be positively integrated into one�s own journey?

The key concerns are choice, anxiety, aloneness and uncertainty.

• An inescapable aspect of being human is that we must choose. All choices are limited by circumstances and sometimes seem so limited that they do not feel like choices at all. The experience of infertility is often one of those choices � the sense of powerlessness that results may lead us to cry that we have no choice However, the existential perspective is that we always have choice - sometimes the only choice left to us is attitudinal or choosing not to choose by allowing fate to take over.


• Because of the inevitability of choice, anxiety is a predictable outcome since in choosing one thing, we do not know the outcome of alternative courses of action.


• We are also alone in our choices � despite advice, support or pressure, we alone must choose with no objective rightness against which to judge the efficacy of our decisions.


• With no objective yardstick against which to judge our actions, we must face the uncertainty that results from being unable to predict the outcome of choices � those made and those rejected.

Myths � unquestioned assumptions influencing our choices

Underpinning our choices are Myths � unquestioned assumptions that hoodwink us into believing we share an objective social reality. Myths are socially and culturally determined and often become so fixed that they feel like objective realities. For example, Myths exist regarding parenting, mothering, childlessness, fertility, relationships, finding meaning etc. The existence of these subtly and directly affects our choices and how we believe we should respond to life�s circumstances. However, despite their power in shaping perceptions, they are assumptions which, if unquestioned inhibit us fully embracing the enormity of our aloneness, uncertainty, freedom and anxiety. Experiences like infertility offer an opportunity to re-visit the responsibility we have for choosing our responses to life�s existential realities.

If you are interested in exploring this subject further, you are invited to sign up for our regular Existential Living Newsletter at http://www.lifemyths.com Clare Mann, organisational psychologist and existential psychotherapist is the author of the �The Myths of Life and The Choices We Have�, an Existential Philosophy-based self-help book, a contributing author to �Awakening the Workplace: Achieving Connection, Fulfilment and Success at Work� and joint author of Strategic Human Resource Development: Strategy and Tactics.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Clare_Mann